Life Cycles

Japan – Life Cycle

The people of ancient Japan followed the Shinto religion, which placed a great deal of emphasis on the natural cycles of birth and death. The arrival of Buddhism from China reinforced the Shinto ideals of respect for and harmony with all living creatures and introduced the complimentary concepts of karma and reincarnation to the Japanese. Combined, these two schools of thought formed the basis for the modern Japanese worldview where each person is a part of a larger whole, even the smallest action is considered important, and respect is a complex and powerful social force.

Birth

Shintoism considers birth as the emergence of living phenomenon from the invisible to the visible, from darkness to light, and from nothingness to being, by some mystical life-force. According to Shinto mythology, Izangai and Izanami, primal spirits, gave birth to the Japanese islands. Izangai’s daughter, the sun goddess Ameratsu, is said to have given birth to Japan’s first king, from whom the imperial family of Japan claims its descent.

For the ordinary Japanese person, birth is considered a gift from their family’s tutelary spirit (Kami). The Japanese value children to such an extent that couples start calling each other Otoosan and Okassaan (Father and Mother) after the birth of their first child, never again using their first names.

Traditionally, children were swaddled in rags or pieces of old clothes worn by their mothers, because newborns were not considered pure at childbirth, and on the seventh day they were attired in ceremonial  kimonos (presented by their grandmothers) to signify their purification. Today, however, children are handled by the antiseptic hands of nurses and midwives in the sterile environments of hospitals.

Almost 100 percent of childbirths in Japan occurred in hospitals in 1999, compared to just 4.6 percent in 1950. Although hospitals are the most common places for childbirth, the Japanese also have the choice of using single-obstetrician clinics assisted by midwives. Japanese midwives do not conduct deliveries but only offer care and support before, during, and after delivery.

Ceremonies and celebrations regarding childbirth in Japanese culture start even before the delivery of the baby. In the Obi-wearing ceremony (Obi-Iwai), five-month pregnant mothers wear the Obi (a long white cloth) to ensure the safe delivery of their baby on Dog’s Day (as per the Japanese Calendar). Present-day Japanese women, however, substitute corset and girdle for the traditional Obi. On the seventh day after the child is born, the Japanese celebrate with an elaborate feast a ceremony called Ohichi-ya, where babies are given their first and last names. Omiya-mairi is held the first month after the baby is born, when a baby is taken to a shrine on its first outing, and where a Shinto priest prays for the baby’s well-being. On the hundredth day of the baby’s life, the first meal ceremony (Okui-zome) is held and the baby is given its first meal.

The Japanese have an ambivalent attitude towards abortions. Although children are valued greatly in this culture, many Japanese also consider abortion as a “sorrowful necessity.” Many parents conduct the Mizuko ritual in Buddhist temples in order to atone for the abortion and to pray for the propitious rebirth of the aborted child. Although the laws put some restrictions regarding abortions, it is practically available on request. Married women require the consent of their husbands to terminate pregnancies. About 30,000 to 40,000 abortions are conducted annually in Japan; and teenage abortions comprise eight percent of all abortions.

Childhood

From earliest childhood, Japanese children are taught the importance of being part of a group and working toward common objectives. They are taught the values of harmonious interaction with their peers and respect towards authority, even from pre-school. Individuality is discouraged and the values of honor, loyalty, and the necessity of ‘saving face’ are inculcated from a very early age. Children are taught at school to formally address their seniors as senpai and their juniors as kohai.

Before World War II, three generations of Japanese (grandparents, parents, and children) lived together in extended families. In today’s nuclear families, parents have the primary responsibility for raising their children. Many white-collar workers in today’s fast-paced Japan spend most of their waking hours in the office, leaving little time to spend with their families. Children of working parents have the choice of thousands of licensed and unlicensed day-care centers to look after their children.

Japanese children are taught the formal aspects of social behavior and etiquette from an early age. The importance of having emotional control even in stressful social situations is dinned in to them until it becomes second nature to them. Children are also taken to the innumerable temples and shrines to participate in the many festivals with their music, dances, and games for children. In today’s tech-savvy Japan, children also get an early introduction into video games, cell phones, and robotic pets and toys.

Children are considered as a gift from the family’s Kami and are therefore, highly valued. The Japanese view children as passive clay waiting to be formed (especially by their mothers) according to the esteemed values of their culture. Sons were preferred over daughters in traditional Japan and there usually existed a close psychological bond between the mother and eldest son. This preference is less prevalent in today’s nuclear families where there are still close emotional ties, but between mothers and all of their children.

Japanese parents give the utmost importance to education and children are enrolled in pre-school and kindergarten between the ages of three and five.

Japan has very strict laws against child-labor. Children under the age of 15 are prohibited from working and those under the age of 18 have many restrictions regarding the kind of work they can do.

Coming of Age

The Japanese have celebrated Coming of Age, Seijin no hi, from ancient times at the ages of 15 for boys and 13 for girls. Today, Seijin no hi is a national holiday celebrated on the second Monday of January by all men and women who reached the age of 20 in the preceding year. Celebrations take place in Japan’s towns and villages and involve men dressing up in suits and women wearing the traditional furisode (special type of kimono for unmarried women).
The coming of age of 20 years is also the legal age at which Japanese men and women can vote, drink, and smoke.

Dating and Courtship

Japanese boys and girls start showing interest in each other at the ages of 13 or 14 and dating usually starts around the age of 15. Initial interactions between Japanese boys and girls often take place via cell phone and the Internet or at school or social events. Many Japanese girls, despairing of meeting local boys, are turning to the innumerable dating agencies that have sprung up in Tokyo and other cities to find boyfriends.

Japanese girls (and their parents) also utilize the services of match-making agencies to find a suitable marriage partner. Combining elements of the traditional and the modern, women meet their prospective grooms in arranged settings, engage in dating and courtship for some time, and either get married or reject the match. About 15 percent of all Japanese marriages are arranged.

The Japanese do a lot of “mobile dating” and such dating sites are called deaikai, or “meeting sites.” Group dating is also very popular in Japan and is usually held at picnics, karaoke parties, amusement parks, and many other venues. Generally, boys initiate dating in Japan and, usually, they also pick up the tab.

Couples usually exchange text messages or emails until they know each other relatively well. Once they are comfortable with each other, they may engage in “date courses,” which are pre-planned series of shopping, sight-seeing, and dining activities, and which may culminate in spending some time at a “love hotel” (Japan’s rent-by-the-hour establishments offering privacy and space).

Japanese couples may spend three months to one year on courtship before they are ready to get married.

Reticence, emotional control under stressful conditions, and assertiveness are some of the male attributes valued in Japanese culture. These very attitudes, however, are creating a lot of friction among present-day Japanese couples and many relationships are breaking up due to lack of communication and women’s increasing assertiveness. Women were traditionally expected to be demure and coquettish, and they were also expected to look alluring without expressing any desire themselves. But today’s Japanese women are seriously undermining traditional perceptions about them. Women are becoming inconveniently assertive and divorces are increasingly and unquestioningly being accepted these days.

There is a prevalent but erroneous belief in Japan that blood type determines character. A person with type-A blood is supposed to be a carping and caviling kind of person, while types B and O are expected to be free-wheeling and driven, respectively. Initial conversations at dates may turn on your blood type and the right or wrong blood type may make or break your dating relationship.

Pre-marital sex was traditionally considered a taboo in line with the Confucian strictures against mingling of boys and girls after a certain age; but the increasing incidence of teenage pregnancies and abortions, and the existence of innumerable “love hotels” in all the cities of Japan, tend to indicate that Confucius is not being taken seriously these days.

Racially, Japan is a highly homogenous country and minority ethnic groups (Koreans, Filipinos, Brazilians, and Chinese) comprise only one percent of the population. Japanese set great store by their ethnic and racial purity and may not approve of inter-ethnic dating or relationships. However, many present-day Japanese men and women are turning to foreign (mainly Western) partners for dating.

As 70 percent of Japanese marriages are based on individual choice rather than arranged marriages (omiai), parental approval is becoming less important. In case of omiai marriages, a nakodo (match-maker) helps to find a suitable match for the girl/boy. There will be an initial meeting of the couple in the presence of both parents. The couple may see each other over a period of time before they decide to marry or part ways.

Marriage

According to Shintoism, marriage is one of life’s rites of passage. The traditional Shinto wedding ceremony symbolizes the marriage as a union of two individuals as well as the union of two families. Unlike in the West, love is not necessarily a major consideration in Japanese marriages. Many Japanese couples see marriage as a way of advancing their family honor as well as an institution to which children can be gifted by the kami-s.

On an average, Japanese men get married around the age of 28 while women’s average marriage age is 26.

The traditional Shinto wedding ceremony is called san san kudo (or “three times three” ceremony) which is usually attended by immediate family and friends. The newly-wed couple as well as members of both families exchanges cups of sake to signify the union of two people as well as two families. Weddings at churches (or church-like settings) have become the latest craze among Japanese couples. In these weddings, the bride and groom are costumed in full Western wedding regalia and exchange their vows under the watchful eyes of (sometimes) bogus priests.

The majority of marriages in Japan now are initiated by individual choice, and in the few arranged marriages (omiai) set up by a match-maker (nakodo), women have full and equal rights in deciding whether to continue with the courtship or to accept of reject the marriage.

Japanese women have a secondary status compared to men in public life. Traditionally, they were considered the uchi-no (of the inside) while men were considered the soto-no (of the outside). Many modern Japanese women, however, are interested in more of an “inside-out” status without any traditional limitations.

Japanese society highly esteems parental approval and guidance. Even in so-called “love marriages,” couples seek the approval (or at least the acquiescence) of their parents. In arranged marriages, parents are involved in all the steps of match-making: initial meeting, courtship, and eventually marriage.

Japan is known for the phenomenon of young people called “parasite singles” who live with their parents after they become earning participants in the work force. This is practiced even after marriage and many married couples live with either of their parents, especially in highly expensive metropolitan areas.

Japanese culture has always had an open and liberal attitude towards sex (more so than the West) that was never associated with sin or shame. Traditionally, men had more freedom regarding extra-marital relationships, which was considered a natural practice for them. The technological revolutions of the internet and the mobile phone, however, have apparently been a liberating factor for Japanese women that have led to an increase in extra-marital relationships among them.

Polygamy, as well as polyandry, is legally prohibited in Japan.

The Japanese constitution grants equal rights to men and women in marriage. Women have equal rights with men in all matters pertaining to marriage including property rights, inheritance rights, choice of domicile, and rights relating to divorce proceedings.

Traditionally, the break up of a marriage and consequent divorce caused a loss of face and honor. Perceptions have changed, however, and questions of divorce hardly raise an eyebrow these days. Approximately 27 percent of marriages end in divorce now, twice the rate of the 1970s.

Divorces can be obtained when there is mutual consent of the spouses, or unilaterally on several grounds including infidelity, malicious desertion, and serious mental illness. In the case of kyougi rikon (divorce by mutual consent), couples simply fill out the Divorce Form (rikon todoke, as opposed to kekkon todoke or the Marriage Form), put their thumb impressions on the todoke, and they are divorced. In the event of divorce, women have equal rights with men in matters like communal property, child custody, and maintenance and child support.

In Japan, custody of children is usually given to the mother and the father has little access to them, unless he is rich. Courts usually grant custody, not just to one parent, but to the family of that parent. Many fathers renege on alimony and child support and generally won’t even see their children for years, even decades.

Buddhism considers death as a passage to another (may be a better) life and widows have no dishonor attached to their widowhood. There is no objection, social or religious, to the remarriage of widows and they do not face any stigma or prejudices in modern Japanese society.

Professional Life

The minimum legal age for employment is 18 in Japan. Those under18 but above 15 can work in restricted spheres. Japanese citizens are absolutely free to choose any profession they like.

The typical workday for an average Japanese worker starts with a commute to the office in the country’s efficient but overcrowded transit system. They start the workday at a morning meeting where company rituals like group exercises or the chanting of inspiring company slogans are performed. Although the typical workday is from 9a.m. to 6p.m., most Japanese workers will arrive 30 minutes early and stay 30 minutes late. Lunch hour is usually taken between 11:30a.m and 1:30p.m. The bento (lunchbox) is generally brought from home or from a local convenience store. Executives in Japan’s demanding corporate environment work longer hours than their Western counterparts, many of them spending most of their waking life in the office.

Workers in Japan’s thriving economy were once assured of lifelong job security and “cradle to grave” benefits, but this situation is changing and companies are now “retrenching,” much to the consternation and indignation of older workers. More than a decade of recession, an increasingly aging population, the entry of more women into the workforce, and the slackening of traditional loyalties to the corporation (especially among the younger generation) have all contributed to the changing dynamics of Japan’s job market.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Law for Men and Women, revised in 1997 and implemented in 1999, guarantees complete gender equality to women in job recruitment, employment, access to specific posts, and promotions, and makes employers responsible for preventing sexual harassment in the workplace. Even though laws have assured them equality, women’s duties to the household often impair their economic aspirations.

In the initial decades of the postwar period, women’s professional life cycles were along the following lines: “office lady” to housewife to kyoiku mama (“education mother”: a mother who is determined to advance her children’s education at any cost). During this period the percentage of married women in the labor force has increased dramatically: from 38 percent in 1960 to 66 percent today. Many women who quit their jobs after child birth are now returning to the labor force once their youngest children are in school. Some married women with children are also accepting part-time employment in expanding economic sectors like wholesaling, retailing, banking, or insurance or are starting their own home businesses.

Many companies circumvent regulations prohibiting wage discrimination by instituting the ‘two-track’ system of employment: steering men toward high-paying managerial track and moving women into low-paying clerical track. As a result of this and many other practices, women’s median hourly wage is only 67.4 percent of men’s hourly median wage.

The official retirement age for men and women in Japan is 60, compared to the US retirement age of 65 and the average OECD retirement age of 64. Many Japanese work longer than that, even in to their 70s, and women are also not far behind.

Old Age

Japan's average life expectancy of 82 years is one of the highest in the world. One quarter of Japan's population will be 65 years or older by 2015 and this percentage will increase to 35 percent by the year 2050.

Old age in Japan was traditionally viewed as a period for relaxing, for socializing, and for being revered and cared for by one’s children and grandchildren. The increasing incidence of suicides among elderly people and the existence of temples where the elderly can pray for a speedy death are, however, evidence that a comfortable old age is not as easy to achieve anymore.

The economic recession of the past decades has blighted the hopes of many elderly Japanese for a hassle-free and comfortable retirement. Many see the need to keep on working but find it an uphill task because of employers’ preference for younger, less expensive, and more tech savvy workers.

That said, many elderly Japanese lead productive lives well into their 70s, 80s, and beyond, and there are many signs of respect for the elderly in Japanese culture. There is a holiday called Respect for the Aged Day. Buses and commuter trains carry messages exhorting passengers to give up their seats for the elderly. Grandparents are held in particularly high esteem.

More elderly people live by themselves or with their spouses away from their children these days (about 32 percent). The rate of elderly living with their children was 65 percent in 1985, down from 70 percent in 1970. The number of elderly living in old age homes tripled from 1970 to 1987.

About half of the elderly in Japan belong to "old people's clubs," which are situated in neighborhoods and supported by small government subsidies (if they have more than 50 members). Groups can be very active or can just organize occasional group trips. Other organizations for the elderly include rojin daigaku (elder universities), which offer courses in history, literature, crafts, and other topics. Many older people pursue hobbies like writing haiku, doing calligraphy, or folk dancing. Volunteerism is also popular and some volunteer positions can carry a small stipend (like minseiin welfare workers) or carry a degree of status.

The aging Japanese population has also required increased medical care. Nursing care alone is expected to increase by 50 percent over the next 20 years. In response, the government launched a program in 2000 to give long-term health insurance to the elderly and is offering subsidies on wheelchairs, reclining beds, and other home aids to allow the elderly to remain at their own or their families’ homes (so they can avoid more expensive nursing homes).

Death

In his account of the Second World War, Sir Winston Churchill wrote admiringly about the brave Kamikaze pilots for whom “death held no terrors.” For the Japanese, death does not have the terrifying aspect accorded it by most cultures around the world. Shintoism exhorts its followers to disregard death and focus on the gift of life. Buddhism considers death merely as a passage to another life and as an example of the Buddha’s teaching about the impermanence of life. The Bushido (code of the samurai) extols death as the glorious way to preserve one’s honor. Suicide by ritual disembowelment, known as hara kiri or seppuku, is highly regarded in Japanese lore. Japan also has one of the highest suicide rates in the world and, recently, several suicide clubs have sprung up on the Internet.

The dead are cremated according to Buddhist rituals. Bones are retrieved using chopsticks and passed around. The ashes are kept in an urn for 35 days, with non-stop incense-burning, after which they are buried. Shinto priests do not attend death ceremonies due to their indifferent attitude towards death.

The Japanese view of afterlife is a synthesis of Shinto and Buddhist beliefs. According to Shintoism, the soul (tamashii) wanders for long periods of time and finally becomes a kami (spirit or demi-god) after undergoing sufficient purification, and then resides in nature. For the Buddhists, death is just a passage to another life, and after many incarnations and the acquiring of merit, one’s “being” may reach final enlightenment, or nirvana, where the cycle of reincarnation ends.

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